Are you worried that your latest love interest seems too good to be true?
Do you fear that you’re about to fall for a romance scam?
Would you like to know how to separate the con artists from legitimate love interests?
If so, read on because this article reveals the 13 signs that you’re falling for a con-artist and that you need to get away from this guy as soon as possible.
What Is a Con Artist?
A con artist is someone who knowingly tricks others by persuading them to believe something that isn’t true.
A true con artist is someone who is playing a long or short game con on a victim for the con artist’s own gain. The true con artist aims to swindle you out of house and home, as opposed to telling a white lie about if that shirt is flattering.
Psychologists tend to agree that there are some character traits that con artists have in common. Keep an eye out for these as they are referred to as the “dark triad” of personality traits:
Narcissism
Psychopathy
Machiavellianism
13 Signs He’s A Con Artist
1. You know you have low self-esteem, and it's obvious
First, let's look at signs from your angle. One of the first things you need to understand when you are in a relationship with a con artist is that whatever arrangement you've got going on is a predator-prey situation.
You are technically prey to a con artist because he has to use his skills on someone who will fall for it. Therefore, you are an exploitable target for him. You must be someone with low-self-esteem, that'll consider herself lucky to be noticed by a cute guy like him and will do everything he says to have him around her.
Therefore, when you notice a charming guy is acting all desperate to win the "timid and shy you" very quickly, it might be time to get your defense up so that you can think clearly with your brain instead of your heart and hormones.
2. You find him completely impressive and are swept away right from the start
With relationship con artists, getting your undivided devotion is part of his goal. That's because it's one of the first steps to ripping you off. Please don't get fooled when you notice all the chivalry, sleek lines, and charm; they are all part of the entire con game to get you hooked right from the beginning.
If you are the type that gets carried away easily by Hollywood romcoms, you may find yourself falling hopelessly for a con artist's scripted behavior. Yes, it's possible that a guy with genuine feelings or interests also wants to go out of his way to impress you. However, the difference between a con artist and a guy with real feelings is the all too perfect approach.
It's often normal to notice some natural awkwardness with the latter, and that's because he's not acting out a script with you. Research shows that awkwardness in relationships is a sign of sincerity. So, when you notice an all too smooth personality, reeking of desperation to win you, that's classic con artist red flags.
3. Your instincts are telling you something is off
The truth is, more than half the time we tend to operate under the truth bias. Meaning, unless we have proven contrary information, we tend to believe someone is honest. Also, it's one of our social skills to be polite. So, instead of being paranoid and rudely challenging what people tell us every time, we are more inclined to flow with them, which makes us vulnerable.
4. Conflicting answers and stories
The truth is always the truth. No matter the number of times you want to tell it, it's going to come out the same. On the other hand, lies could come out differently when people need to go over the same information, especially when they didn't have the chance to prepare. This attribute of lies are signs for you because relationship con artists are usually pathological liars.
Their area of specialty is lying to control/influence people or situations. If you pay attention, you'll undoubtedly spot a huge difference in the information they told you at different times. Once you notice these signs all too frequently, you are probably dealing with a con.
5. You hear them brag about money you don't see
Because con artists are after your money, they want to make you believe they've got it, or at least, they roll with those who have it. Once you hear a man talking about how he went to the expensive places and how he's making cool cash you can't see, he is likely trying to exploit you.
6. You can't verify his affiliations
One of the strategies of con men is to drop information they know you can't verify. You may hear him say things like he's friends with oil business tycoons from Iran or Saudi Arabia. He knows most people hardly ever have details about Arabs, so he uses this information to overstate his financial position. He may disappear and reappear, claiming he was on a business trip with his Arabian businessmen. Of course, there'll be a follow-up story about how business isn't going well. It's a strategy to later get money from you.
7. They stylishly ask about your finance
Naturally, a con artist will want to know if his target has money for him to stick around for, so bragging about money and claiming he’s friends with top shots like CEOs is a strategy to get you talking about your financial capabilities.
If you are open to him, he’ll know how much you are worth and how he can take it from you. So, once you find that your man is overly interested in your finances, you might want to slow down before you start having a joint account.
8. He wants to borrow from you
After meeting a con artist, chances are he'll want to "test the waters" of your generosity by asking you to lend him some little funds. He may tell you child support is cutting deep into his finance, hence the need for the loan. Make no mistake; men have an ego the size of Mount Everest.
It's not in their nature to ask a woman they just started dating for money. It's a slap on their ego unless of course, he's a shameless gold-digging con artist.
So this is one of the red flags you must look out for. You may even notice a quick return of the funds you lent him. That's a strategy to make you feel, he's back on his feet, and he's honest enough to return your money. Watch out; he's likely coming to ask for a bigger loan. This time, you probably won’t see him again.
9. You know very little about him
If you allow yourself to get carried away by the smooth talk of a relationship con man, chances are, many months would have gone by before you realize you don't know any in-depth details about him.
At that point, he may find it easy deceiving you because you may have fallen for him. If you know a few things, you'll find that the information is difficult to verify because they'll likely be abroad. Don't get me wrong; there's nothing wrong with dating a man with ties and a background from overseas.
10. The isolating strategy is all too common
No matter how secretive relationships con artists can be, they can't help but leave behind a trail of victims. So one of the common behavior you'll notice is keeping you away from others that can mess up his parade. This way, he'll limit the chances of meeting people that can identify and connect him to his past victims.
Also, your friends and family aren't blind by lust, so chances are, they can see through his fake lifestyle, and warn you. If you hear him frequently say he prefers to stay indoors, or he limits his outings to specific places, that's a sign he's avoiding being seen. Remember a con artist is technically acting a script, so stepping out of a zone he can't control isn't a smart move for him.
11. He wants to marry quickly
Yes, you may meet your soulmate, and everything feels right. But when you notice all of the above from a man, yet he's desperately trying to marry you all too quickly, chances are he's up to something. He may have realized marrying you is the only way to have access to the juicy part of your fortune.
So, you want to be careful as some con artists are a greater threat. While some will only fleece you and leave you hanging, others go in for the kill. The latter happens when big life insurance money or some inheritance is at stake. Be smart; don't be one of his victims
12. Your relationship is obviously one-sided
Love or lust may not allow you to notice this one on time, especially when you are naturally a generous person. But if you make a quick audit of your relationship and see signals pointing to what looks like an ATM-customer arrangement, where you are, of course, the ATM, dishing out cash and other cash-related items to your partner, it might be time to cut such a person off.
13. You are no longer in control
If your con artist boyfriend or husband ultimately gets you on his web, your finances are probably not the only thing he'll control. He may completely rob you of control of other areas of your life. Once you find yourself taking permission from him before going somewhere or spending your own money, that's a huge red flag. It's time to get out of such a relationship.
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